Tuesday, August 31, 2010

.::. A night of normal .::.

Over the years I've always longed for some companion. Someone to hold and someone to hold me. Someone to love who loves me the same. I could go on with all the trite fall in love bull that we are all familiar with it but tonight I don't feel particularly emotional.

Most of the time when I write on this blog I'm at my worst. I've sunken into some depression or come down off some manic high that has left me staring out at the world as a bleak empty shell. Tonight that's not the case though. Tonight I'm writing on a normal day.

Life to me centers around my self. That may sound shallow or egotistical but its true. My ego rules my life. I have my immediate family, my daughter, one or two friends, and work. Most of days and nights are spent alone. I often turn to a drink to comfort me, or look for ways to improve my stance in the world.

The messed up part of it all is that I am often more interested in my materialistic desires than anything else in the world. Does anyone really care about the 40k car, the top of the line designer laptop, the tablet with 3g connectivity, the 150 dollar bottle of scotch? No. No one cares, and really hardly anyone knows I have these things.

So thing missing from my life the most, is simply someone to share my life with. At the rate I'm going I'll be single at 30, which is fairly common these days. However I always thought I would be long married by now. Alas, maybe I'll find someone someday. Of course statistically I'll probably end up divorced so I may be better off staying single.


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