.::. You .::.
Hues of golden, starry rays,
In a sea of black and blue,
Entwining our love lost days,
Inspiration, she's my muse.
In a sea of black and blue,
Entwining our love lost days,
Inspiration, she's my muse.
Special thanks goes out to anonymous poet for helping me make this rhyme flow like wind on a sunny spring afternoon.
posted by Phantasmal Spectre at 12:22 PM
5 Comments:
This is a wonderful little ode to love. Memorable. To be read again and again.
However, could I make a couple of grammatical suggestions?
How about:
Hues of golden, starry rays,
In a sea of black and blue,
Entwining, our love lost days,
Inspiration needs no muse.
Just a suggestion . . . feel free to disgregard it if you want.
Also, I am a little unclear about the meaning of the last line. Do you mean something like "There is no fairer muse"? Or, am I just missing something.
Bye!
Thanks for the suggestions. What I was going for here was, First line: is a reference to golden hair, second line is to blue eyes, third line is inspired by being together. and the the last line is me saying that she has inspired me so much, I no longer needed any sort of muse. But I like your suggestions, thanks for the constructive criticism.
Thanks for linking to me! And for stopping by. Thanks for the insight on your piece.
How about?
Hues of golden, starry rays,
In a sea of black and blue,
Entwining our love lost days,
Inspiration, she's my muse.
???
Isn't this person your muse? Just wondering . . . .
: )
I really enjoyed what you just did there.... "Inspiration she's my muse" is absolutely perfect. I think I'll have to update this.
Great! Glad you like it. Nice to meet you.
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